Watching Juno on the Treadmill
Well, I started running again. I made a goal to run another 5k and it's time to get on with it. Plus, I'd like to lose the whole "Still look pregnant 6 months later" style I have going on. So, I am following the Couch Potato to 5K plan and going to the gym three days a week to run. But that's really not what I'm here to blog about. It's just that while I was running the other day, the movie Juno was on so I watched it while running. I've seen the movie before and loved it. So, even though it was the last 20 minutes of the movie, I didn't change the channel.
In case you don't know, Juno is about a teenage girl who gets pregnant and chooses a family from an ad in the newspaper to adopt her baby. So, halfway through my run, sweat pouring down my face of course, Juno heads to the hospital. It's time!!!! As she, also covered in sweat, cries out in pain and gives birth I also began to cry. It could have been an all out sob, but since I was at the navy base gym I figured I should keep it together. I was so overcome with emotion and my desire to not totally lose control that it took me a minute to figure out where in the world this reaction was coming from.
Those of you that have given birth and/or cared for your baby will understand that there is something that changes in you when you become a mother. There is a love that develops that you've never known before. And as a mother you have a strong urge to protect and care for your baby no matter what that takes. So as I watched Juno give birth, knowing that she would soon give that baby up for adoption, I felt a profound sadness for her. But the sadness was really for mothers everywhere who, for one reason or another, have to make that choice. I can't imagine what that must be like. To carry a baby for nine months, to labor and birth that baby, and then to make the choice to let someone else become the mother and/or father- wow! Whatever the reason is for that choice, it must take a lot of courage to do and I would imagine that for many there must be a deep sadness as they watch their baby leave their sight, knowing they won't be returning.
The second half of my emotional run comes from knowing that I will also someday (God willing) be in the role of the adoptive parent. Tom and I have decided that the next child to join the Fanning family will be adopted. That child, who is probably not even born yet, has been on my mind so much lately. We haven't started the formal adoption process but my mind and my heart are far into the journey.
In Juno, the adoptive mother wants and loves that child so much. There is a moment in the movie where she is peering into the nursery at her new baby, and there is such a since of awe in her eyes. "I'm that baby's mother"...... She can barely believe it. And that is how I feel about my unborn child. Somewhere in this great big world there are a man and a woman that will soon be intimately connected to our family. Maybe they've known each other a long time or maybe they haven't yet met. But sometime in the next two years, their lives and mine will change dramatically as they bring a son into the world and make the choice to allow someone else the privilege of caring for him. I know the journey will be paved with sweat and tears, but as that mother makes that choice, I pray she has peace that her son is being well cared for and loved. Because I will and I do. I love him even now.
So that's why, while trying to lose our "baby weight", Juno and I both sweated, cried, and felt the depth of the love we had for a child.
In case you don't know, Juno is about a teenage girl who gets pregnant and chooses a family from an ad in the newspaper to adopt her baby. So, halfway through my run, sweat pouring down my face of course, Juno heads to the hospital. It's time!!!! As she, also covered in sweat, cries out in pain and gives birth I also began to cry. It could have been an all out sob, but since I was at the navy base gym I figured I should keep it together. I was so overcome with emotion and my desire to not totally lose control that it took me a minute to figure out where in the world this reaction was coming from.
Those of you that have given birth and/or cared for your baby will understand that there is something that changes in you when you become a mother. There is a love that develops that you've never known before. And as a mother you have a strong urge to protect and care for your baby no matter what that takes. So as I watched Juno give birth, knowing that she would soon give that baby up for adoption, I felt a profound sadness for her. But the sadness was really for mothers everywhere who, for one reason or another, have to make that choice. I can't imagine what that must be like. To carry a baby for nine months, to labor and birth that baby, and then to make the choice to let someone else become the mother and/or father- wow! Whatever the reason is for that choice, it must take a lot of courage to do and I would imagine that for many there must be a deep sadness as they watch their baby leave their sight, knowing they won't be returning.
The second half of my emotional run comes from knowing that I will also someday (God willing) be in the role of the adoptive parent. Tom and I have decided that the next child to join the Fanning family will be adopted. That child, who is probably not even born yet, has been on my mind so much lately. We haven't started the formal adoption process but my mind and my heart are far into the journey.
In Juno, the adoptive mother wants and loves that child so much. There is a moment in the movie where she is peering into the nursery at her new baby, and there is such a since of awe in her eyes. "I'm that baby's mother"...... She can barely believe it. And that is how I feel about my unborn child. Somewhere in this great big world there are a man and a woman that will soon be intimately connected to our family. Maybe they've known each other a long time or maybe they haven't yet met. But sometime in the next two years, their lives and mine will change dramatically as they bring a son into the world and make the choice to allow someone else the privilege of caring for him. I know the journey will be paved with sweat and tears, but as that mother makes that choice, I pray she has peace that her son is being well cared for and loved. Because I will and I do. I love him even now.
So that's why, while trying to lose our "baby weight", Juno and I both sweated, cried, and felt the depth of the love we had for a child.
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Comments
My heart truly breaks for them. And then I remember how hard it was for Jacie's parents when we had her. Every time they visited, her mom would cry. Anyway, keep running. I have been doing that too and getting close to two miles. It feels really good. I need to get rid of the "I was never pregnant but look like I was" look.