The Fanning Four

So, now that we're on a surgery hiatus for a few years (thank goodness!) we're turning our focus to how to best help Caleb learn to talk and to get a handle on his sensory issues.  According to the book I've been reading, The Out-of- Sync-Child , "sensory processing disorder is the inability to use information received through the senses in order to function smoothly in daily life." SPD is an umbrella term. Go down a level, and Caleb would be classified under "sensory modulation disorder" and then one more level to "sensory seeking". Basically it means that Caleb requires more input than the average child to understand his environment. He particularly craves touch, movement, and smell. I don't really understand it all and we may be seeking the help of a neurologist soon, so I would be able to explain more after that. But in every day life it looks like this: Constant movement- he loves to swing, horse play, be tickled, jump, run aroun...

So I've known this information for almost a week now. And I've held it close, only talking about it with a couple people. I guess I'm just embarrassed. I'm tired of needing help. I'm tired of talking about medical problems.  We've had a lot with my mono/Lyme disease last year and Caleb's 2 surgeries. I kind of just want to pretend it's not real. But it is, and so here it is. About 2 months ago, on a rainy day, I was getting the kids our of the car and slipped on the wet garage floor and totally wiped out. I had immediate intense pain and wasn't sure I was going to be able to stand up. Bethy was so sweet and came over and started picking up the things I dropped and asking how she could help. Fortunately I did get up and even managed to hobble around and make the kids' lunch. I limped around for the next few days, went to the dr. twice, got a brace, some pain meds, and anti inflammatory meds and assumed I'd heal with time. It did get better. ...

I haven't been a great blogger this past year. It's just been full. Life has been full. Caleb had his 3 year check up and his pediatrician said it looks pretty healthy. He's 30.8 pounds and 38 inches tall. She did hear a heart murmur and we have been concerned because he gets out of breath easily. So we will be making a trip to the pediatric cardiologist soon. We'll keep you posted. Caleb still doesn't say very many words and only one or two that are truly understandable. His speech therapist has said he has speech apraxia. That basically means that his brain has trouble telling his mouth what to do.  He still has a lot of muscle weakness (part of why we want to check his heart). The muscle weakness in his face and mouth make it difficult for him to make sounds. We have taught him quite a few sign language words and are working on getting a picture card communication system going. It has been very difficult to accept his lack of speech. We definitely thought h...

She's talkative (although we've been told she is much quiter at school), energetic, and intelligent. Commonly heard phrases ,"Hey, can I tell you somethin'?", "What means ______?" (asking definitition of a word), "Let's pack up" (she likes to pack suitcases and go on imaginary trips), "My pets......" (she has a world of imaginary "pets" including penguins, polor bears, etc.). She knows so many Bible stories, I think she's ready for seminary. She is shy around new adults but friendly with kids her age. She likes to pick out her own outfits and has a Punky Brewster type style. She loves to play with baby dolls, color, paint, and throw "parties". She is in gymnastics and just moved up a level to Hot Shots. She is learning how to swim this summer. She wants to marry her friend Nathan, be a Momma, and have 2 kids. She thinks Nathan will work on houses and go to the bank. She wants to adopt one ...

Happy Third Birthday Caleb!!! I can't belive he's turning 3!!! What a spunky little guy we have! He loves spaghetti, PB and J, crackers, bananas, frosted mini wheats, chocolate milk, lasagna, any type of bread, green beans, and applesauce. He can say, "hat", "heart", "head", "hot", "car", "at" (cat), "Momma" (for Mom or Dad), "uh oh", "up", "ook" (book), "ooh" (shoe) and "more" He can identify most body parts He can point to any number 1-10. He's a computer whiz! He can sign: more, lollipop, eat, all done, baby, time, cookie, thank you, please, hurt, drink, milk, bird, cracker, bread, peanut butter, water, plane, car, shoes, socks, and some others I can't think of He loves to swim He is very cuddly He is almost totally day time potty trained- his own initiative He likes to sit and "read" He loves bathtime and playing with bloc...

Want a chance at winning an Ipad while helping an adoption family? Go here and donate to this family's adoption travel expenses: http://www.journeyforgodsjoy.blogspot.com/2012/06/

I was in the bathroom the other day when I saw five little fingers reaching under. I am not so sure what it was about that moment but it was the first time I really felt ownership of those little fingers. Not in a "I own my TV" kind of way. It's more of a "you belong to me, you belong with me" kind of way. My attachment process to Caleb has been difficult journey; one of the more difficult and surprising aspects of adoption for me. I'd share more than that with you over a cup of coffee, but for now, we'll leave it at that.  I have recently figured out that one of my biggest hurdles in attaching was the guilt I feel at "taking" Caleb from his biological Momma. I know that's not reality, but when I see the joy of a child he is, my heart aches for her and what she is missing. I am fully aware that our delight in him is at the cost of their relationship with each other and it just breaks my heart.  And I'm ok with that but I can't l...

Me and my friend Jennifer, started an International adoption support group in Panama City, FL. It's called Globally Connected. Check it out! facebook.com/GloballyConnectedBayCounty http://globallyconnectedbaycounty.blogspot.com/ First meeting is May 19th and features our very own Jennifer Clark, an adult adoptee from Korea. Check out the facebook page for more info!

Created for Care  is an amazing organization that I discovered just a month or so ago. Their main mission is to care for women who have adopted, fostered children, or are in the process. I was given the amazing blessing of attending their March retreat in Georgia last weekend and I was blown away!! I didn't know anyone. I had read one gal's blog (so fun to meet her in real life) but other than that, I was just on my own. I was a bit rusty on the ol' social scene the first night but quickly met some amazing women and felt right at home. I can't tell you what it feels like to sit next to not just one but multiple women who have sons, adopted from China, with cleft lip/palate. It's like you don't even have to say anything, they just know.... And not just the China Mommas, the sense of togetherness at the retreat was amazing with all the women. I learned a million things but here's a highlight: A lady (who had been adopted from Korea as a baby) spoke the...

1. Conversation with my daughter this morning: "Yay Caleb, you said Car!!! Momma, he said car!!"- Bethy "Great! Is that a picture of a car he's looking at?"- Me "No, it's a dog"- Bethy 2. We had our 2nd appt with the surgeon at UAB yesterday. Surgery is now scheduled for June 6th. The fistula closed a little, but not enough, so this is almost a complete redo of the Dec. surgery. We're still super impressed with the new surgeon! And no liquid diet this time. He can eat soft foods right away which is GREAT for a kiddo with adoption related food issues! 3. As we were leaving the clinic yesterday, we all said bye to the receptionists and check in ladies. Caleb was waving bye bye and then started sticking his foot up in the air towards the lady who check us in. So everyone was saying things like, "Oh, yeah buddy, very cute shoes!". But he kept his foot out and I thought, "Weird, he's never been proud of his shoes before....

This morning we took a "quick" trip to the grocery store. I took both kids. You're laughing about the "quick" part already aren't you. I almost never take both to the store. But we needed to go,so off we went. Bethy needed to stop at the restroom while we were there. No problem, trek across the store to the restroom. Quick trip in, she washes her hands, we're headed back out. And....she has to go again. She spends the next 20 plus minutes on the potty. Oh yes folks..... Over 20 minutes in the Publix restroom this morning and she never went. She did entertain each person who came in during our 20 minutes there with a song about David and the Giant. To top it all off, as we exited the restroom, our cart full of groceries was gone. A worker was putting our groceries back because they thought we had abandoned our cart. Happy Tuesday!!! We're headed back to the surgeon on Thursday morning. From what I can tell, the hole in Caleb's palate is still fa...

We have been blessed by a lady who, until today, didn't even know my first name. She knows of our family and our sweet Caleb and felt called to reach out to us. God woke her up several weeks ago and stirred in her heart a desire to give Caleb every opportunity to "catch up" and reach his potential. Because of her obedience to God and her love for us, Caleb will be getting additional therapies that will help him thrive and grow. She wants no recognition for this and will probably never even see this blog post, but we will be forever grateful for what she is doing for our family. I never asked for this and never prayed for this but I guess God knew the need and provided before we even knew to ask. Ephesians 3:20-21 " 20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. "

Today is the one year anniversary of our referral for Caleb!! And in honor of that, here is a video for your enjoyment. : )

This week is the 6 year anniversary of when I met my husband. When I look back I can't believe we've managed to do so much incredible living in just that short amount of time. If you have the privilege of knowing my husband, you know that he is one of the kindest men you will ever meet. His integrity and character are unwavering and his love of God is inspiring. And I just really like him.... Thanks for loving me....

Love Bethany quotes: "There are 2 Gods because we call Jesus God too." *Guess we'll have to work on that whole trinity thing. : ) Me: "I'm sorry Bethy, you're not old enough to help with that yet. When you're older you can." Bethy: "Well, I'm 3 and a half!!"  *Oh, ok then, here's the keys to the car..... After gymnastics: "I did SUCH a good job!" *She's humble too. "I can't walk cause my fingers hurt."

I was on my own tonight with the kids. So after we got home from gymnastics, I needed a few minutes of quiet and calm to get a quick dinner on the table. I tried something I rarely do. I asked the kids to play in their bedrooms by themselves for a few minutes. Well, all the stars were aligned and a miracle occurred: 1. They both played quietly in their room for not 5 minutes, but 20. 20 whole minutes. 2. Neither one tore up their room, screamed for me to rescue them, or injured themselves. 3. Bethany came out eventually and said, "Momma, I cleaned my whole room, wanna see?" And sure enough, she had cleaned her room. I'm tempted to try it again. I've heard of families where children will play alone in their rooms quietly but for us, it only happens on occasion. Bethany is extremely extroverted (at least for this phase of her life) and would like to be around people every second of the day. She even loathes going to the bathroom by herself. So, playing alone in a c...

I used to read posts on adoption message boards where Moms would rant about strangers asking them too many questions about the adoption or about being offended by certain questions. I used to think they were a little too sensitive and I do still believe that some people are too sensitive. However, we've been home 7 months and I am starting to understand. Most of the time I am more than happy to talk about the adoption. I love the story. I love our son. I love to share. But now my son can hear and understand. Sooooooo......I don't want him to hear things that might make him feel badly. I love answering questions, but now I would rather do it out of earshot of my children unless it's something like, "Who cuts his amazingly cute hair?" (His Momma) or "How can you stand to be around that much cuteness?" (it's hard but we manage). Another thing is that I now have 2 children to keep track of. My life is full and wonderful, and  sometimes a bit frantic....

I feel like I'm living in a nursery rhyme like "Jack Sprat could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean." Our version is, "Caleb Shen could eat SO fast, his sis could eat SO slow." We've had eating issues with Bethy since she got off of baby food. She used to have to drink Ensure because she didn't eat enough food. She could go a whole day and eat not one bite of food. She never, ever said she was hungry. We have come a long way since those days. She's moved up a bit in percentage for her height/weight for her age. She no longer needs Ensure. She expresses hunger. She eats food throughout the day. She even tries new foods occasionally. It's been a long road and it continues. She is an extremely slow eater. Lunch takes 45 minutes and would last longer if I didn't give it a time limit due to nap. Dinner takes her at least an hour. Sometimes she does eat at a "regular" pace.  We have started using a star system to help her stay on ...

Happy Chinese New Year! We're celebrating at a local Chinese restauarant tonight. I'll dress the kids in their Chinese outfits. Pretty low key this year. We're happy and excited about the year to come!

We're headed to the University of Alabama Children's Hospital next week to meet with their craniofaical team for a second opinion. The surgeon there has 13 years of experience and seems to be really great. We're hoping for some encouraging news, or at the very least, a clear direction for our next steps. My biggest concern is how this fistula (hole in the palate) will impact Caleb's speech. Caleb has made some progress. He is sleeping in a toddler bed- yay! Naps are going well. Nighttime is rougher but it hasn't been too bad. He has been making some new sounds- he says "uh oh", "mmm, hmmm", and makes the "Mmmmm" sound when he pretends to eat with our play food. We also think he is trying to say "hi" and "bye". He's very happy to be eating pretty much whatever he wants again. We also said bye bye to the arm restraints. He is having some attachment issues with Tom. If Tom is in the room, Caleb "demands...