Reality
We have three clocks hanging over a world map in our den. The clock on the left is China time and I like to sit in the recliner and dream about what Caleb is doing on the other side of the world. Last night I pondered this aloud to my husband. He replied, "Probably crying until he realizes no one is going to pick him up." You can imagine my response to my sweet, realist husband. He said, "Well, it's true, isn't it?!' And he's right. It is true. There's a chance Caleb is in a foster home or in a really great orphanage. But the reality of a typical orphanage is that you have a nanny not a Momma and a Daddy. There are so many mouths to feed and cries to hush that babies wait too long to be held, if they get held at all.
Don't let me give you the impression that my husband is not sensitive to my feelings- he's come a long way since we met (he is an engineer so feelings weren't his speciality) and provides constant support that has deeply enhanced my life. And he can now reflect feelings with the best of counselors- that's what you get for marrying one right? But sometimes he lets me hear the "thinker" in him and he says the right, true, difficult thing. And even though it's hard to hear, I need to hear it. I appreciate him for the balance he brings to my life.
It brings reality to my fantasies and helps me better prepare for the journey ahead. Caleb will not run up to us speaking perfect English exclaiming, "I've been waiting for you and I love you." He will be confused, shocked, and grieving. And he will have medical, emotional, spiritual, and cognitive needs to be met.
So, today I sent some emails to begin preparing for these aspects of our journey. There are medical/adoption professionals that will partner with us as we bring Caleb into our family and give him the best care we can. And even though we are many months away from meeting him, the time to prepare is now. One of the places we will spend some time is the International Adoption Clinic in Birmingham, AL. Check it out: http://adoption.chsys.org/
Don't let me give you the impression that my husband is not sensitive to my feelings- he's come a long way since we met (he is an engineer so feelings weren't his speciality) and provides constant support that has deeply enhanced my life. And he can now reflect feelings with the best of counselors- that's what you get for marrying one right? But sometimes he lets me hear the "thinker" in him and he says the right, true, difficult thing. And even though it's hard to hear, I need to hear it. I appreciate him for the balance he brings to my life.
It brings reality to my fantasies and helps me better prepare for the journey ahead. Caleb will not run up to us speaking perfect English exclaiming, "I've been waiting for you and I love you." He will be confused, shocked, and grieving. And he will have medical, emotional, spiritual, and cognitive needs to be met.
So, today I sent some emails to begin preparing for these aspects of our journey. There are medical/adoption professionals that will partner with us as we bring Caleb into our family and give him the best care we can. And even though we are many months away from meeting him, the time to prepare is now. One of the places we will spend some time is the International Adoption Clinic in Birmingham, AL. Check it out: http://adoption.chsys.org/
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